weird love
by starrcat16
Summary: Layla Jane doesn't believe in love after a tragic accident that caused her to lose a loved one, she doesn't even beleive that love exsists, that is until a certain pevensie brother shows her what love is, and shows her a whole new world
1. Chapter 1

leaving the family home:

"I don't want to stay here any more mum, I'm 18, I can make my own choices" I said to my mother as I packed my suitcase, "I'm just a sad that my little girl is leaving the nest, that's all my love" she replayed, while she blotted her eye's so I wouldn't see the tears that were threatening the tumble down.

my name is Layla-Jane, and I'm leaving home, I want to travel the world, and finally, I'm old enough to do it. the taxi outside honked its horn twice, signalling that I should get a move on, I hugged my mother one more time and she cried again, going on about how I will have to ring her every single day, and least twice if I'm not to busy, and saying how much she loves me and wishing me luck and my 'big adventure's'.

"I love you to mum, say goodbye to Bertha for me will you? I'd hate to have her think I was just leaving her high and dry with out even saying goodbye to her" Bertha was our elderly neighbour, I used to go down her house every day to play scrabble with her, even though I hate the game. "bye mum, I love you" I gave her one last hug and ran to the taxi before she had the chance to start crying again.

As the taxi rode along the motorway, taking me to the airport, so I could board my first ever plane. a happy thought crossed my mind, I would never have to wake up everyday to boring countryside, or go to boring work, or listen to Bertha babble on about some fantasy pile of crap book called the chronicles of Narnia that she made me read her all the time. Finally, I was free.

the plane was late, my first official day of freedom and the freaking plane was late. I put my head in my hands and let out a frustrated groan. at this rate I wouldn't make it to Paris until night, then I will actually have to find the bloody place I will be staying in the dark. Could this day get any worse.

I finally got on the and set off, my mind washed off of all the negative thoughts, I was leaving my dreary boring life behind and setting off on a new adventure to discover the world and myself, yes, this year will be great


	2. Chapter 2

_1 year later_

the funeral was short, not many people showed up, but we didn't really know many people, so that made sense. I'm back in my home town, wishing I was living back in Paris, or Canada, or Thailand or any other place I have lived, but I cant, I promised her I would never leave again, no matter how much I hate it here, no matter how lonely I feel, I have to stick it out, for her, for my mum.

I still cant believe she is dead, it all happened to quickly, one day I was planning a trip to mount Everest, and the next I'm getting a phone call off a police officer, informing me that there had been a accident back at home, that my mothers car had been run off the rode by some dick head who didn't even care enough to stop and see if my mother was okay, he just drove off, left her there for dead.  
I miss her so much, I remember how we used to go to the fields and pick wild flowers and how she used to braid them into my hair, and how we used to paint the living room a different colour every year because we need something in our lives to change, and how she used to take me for walks in the wood, and used to joke about seeing narnians hiding form me, I used to believe her to, that there was another world out there, it used to make her happy when we went for walks. _I promise mum, that I will go for a walk in the woods again soon, I promise. _

__its been 2 months since the funeral and people have been stopping by, giving me there condolences, asking me if i needed anything, but the only thing I needed was something they couldn't give me, to stop feeling completely lost and alone. my old friend tom stopped by a few times and asked me about my travels, its nice to have a distraction from what's happened and to talk about all the amazing things I have seen and done, but even tom cant stop me from feeling lonely all the time.

I still have,t been for a walk in the woods, but I will as soon as I can get tom off my back, he's seems to never leave me out of his sights, and he's always hugging me, I dont, know what to do.

tom said that he loved me today, I think I love him to, I enjoy his company and he is always there for me, no matter what happens. he took me on a date to the cinema and she held my hand and even kissed me, I didnt know haw to react so I just stood there, but it was still nice. I think I am falling for him, I think my mum would aprove of him to, hes a gentle man, and my mum said that if I should marry any one it should be a gentleman, becuase they know how to treat a lady.


	3. Chapter 3 no such thing as love

I love you, that's what he said! he fucking told me he loved me and then he just ripped my heart out. He cheated on me, all because I wasn't ready, said he wanted a woman who was willing to give him some, the dick, its not my fault I'm not ready. He said I didn't really love him, that I was using him as an excuse to stay here, but I did love him, didn't I? yes I did, otherwise I wouldn't be feeling this shit.  
well I defiantly don't love him now, I hate him, he betrayed my trust, I can never trust anyone again, everyone I love leaves me, is it my fault they leave? does every one I love leave me because I'm unlovable?

I just sit alone in my house, watching shit on TV or eating, but I don't seem to be gaining any weight, I'm losing it rapidly, which is strange, can sadness make you ill? I hope not, because I'm always sad these day's, the only company I have since tom left is the stupid cattle, and there not exactly ideal company, for the fact that they just shit and eat all the time.

I need something to do with my life, I need someone in my life, but I cant trust getting close to someone again, because they will just hurt me, and I don't think I can handle any more hurt. the people you love always leave, just like my dad left me and my mum when I was 7. He used to hurt my mum, not hit her or anything, but he hurt her emotionally, he used to argue with her all the time, and say nasty things to her, but I still loved him, he was my hero. when other kids used to pick on me, he taught me to defend myself, not with the usual parenting skills of 'just tell a teacher' no, my dad taught me how to fight, and after that no one bothered me again, or became my friends, but i didn't care because I had my dad. But then he left, just decided that he didn't want us any more, he said he was going to start a new life in Paris with his new girlfriend Amanda. I never saw him again after that, but he did send me post cards from all the places he lived with different women.

Bertha keeps calling the house, asking me to come down and read to her, but I don't want to, I don't like reading to her, she just falls asleep after the second chapter. but she wont give up, she keeps saying that the book will be good for me, that it will help me enter new worlds or something like that, but if I go there, I'll have t leave the house, and if I leave the house, I will have to socialize, which I really don't want to do.

she's banging on the door again, saying that If I wont read the book, then I should at least take a walk in the woods like I promised I would, how did she know about that? did I let it slip in one of our phone conversations? I don't care, I would happily take a walk alone in the woods that read some crappy fake book to her for the next couple of hours. I ran upstairs and got dressed in my usual cloths, my dark red and pink floral dress that has a zip running all the way down the back, some black walking boots, my black leather jacket, and I put on some mascara and eye-liner, just to complete the look, and because I like the way my green eyes look with it on, I contemplated putting my curly blond mess into a bun, but decided against it, way to much effort.

I ran down the stairs, swearing when I missed the last step and almost landed on my face, and ran to the back door. once outside I jumped the high fence that cut off my house from the field and legged it across the field like there was no tomorrow. now that I was actually on my way the the forest, I was excited, I haven't been there in so long and it was my mothers favourite place in the whole world, so I would feel closer to her there. I finally reached the forest and began walking, trying to catch my breath, I bent over and breathed in deeply, taken in the damp air and the smell of leaves and earth, and I felt calm and happy for the first time in months, screw tom and his slut, I was finally free again. I began walking slowly, taken in the scenery, when I heard a crack, then another one, then another, I turned around fast just in time to see a man jogging towards me, he didn't seem to realize I was there and bumped into me, I went flying backwards down the banking, twigs and leaves were getting caught in my hair and I tumbled down, then I hit my head on a rock and everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4 what the hell?

_ouch, my head hurts, what the hell happened. oh I remember, some twat knocked me on my arse and I went tumbling down a fucking banking. that's what I get for leaving the house._

I tried to sit up, but I couldn't, it felt like my head way being pinned to the ground. I let out a long sigh and opened my eyes, I must have had them shut for a while because it hurt to open them. I let my eyes wonder around to look at my surrounding, _that's funny, I'v never seen the sky looks so blue, wasn't it cloudy a minute ago, how long was I out? _  
I tried to sit up again, this time succeeding and looked around. I was sitting what looked to be a meadow, but I don't recall there ever being a meadow in these woods, and were was the banking I fell down, I was sitting directly in the middle of the meadow and there didn't seem to be any place were I could have fell from, unless I fell from the sky, which is impossible. _what the hell is going on?_ I hear something, it sounds like hoves hitting the ground fast, like they were running straight towards me, and someone was laughing. _what the hells going on? _two horses, ridden by two silhouettes of someone's came into the meadow, still laughing about something, until one stopped and looked directly at me. "peter, look there, someone's sitting in the middle of the meadow" the other silhouette, who I assumed was peter, turned in my direction, and they both dismounted and started towards me. "hello, are you okay? do you need any help?" a tall blond boy, with blue eyes asked, I looked at him carefully, he was wearing some old fashioned cloths, and he had a sword! "um who are you and why are you dressed like that?" I asked, looking at him like he was some sort of freak. the blond by looked taken aback by my answer, he cleared his throat at said "I'm high king peter, and I would like to ask the same question as to why you are dressed so oddly, where are you from?" king? this guy was definitely stoned or worse, completely bonkers. "I'm from a small town called Neath, and what's wrong with my cloths?" I was getting annoyed at the boys stupid questions and staring. he shook his head and said "Neath, where is that? and your cloths are not exactly proper for a lady to be wearing" although he didn't seem to mind what I wearing so much, since he couldn't stop looking at my legs. "well I'm not a lady, I'm just an ordinary person, so please stop eyeing up my legs and help me up" He blushed bright red and I heard a chuckle from behind him, as he helped me up, I got a look at the boy that was standing a few step behind peter. this one had brown hair, which was messy and all over the place, and he had deep brown eyes and freckles all over his face, making him look young when I could tell that he was around my age. I turned back to peter who had taken a few steps back again, then I looked around me. this was defiantly not the forest I was in. "where am I?" the two boys exchanged a look then turned back to me "your in Narnia, obviously" said the brown headed boy. I looked at them both then burst out laughing. "Narnia, ha ha yeah, right" I kept laughing until I realized that the to boys looked serious "oh come on, you've got to be freaking kidding me! Narnia is a book and a film, not a real place!" I looked at them as if they were crazy, which I assumed they were. "Um actually, it is quite real and your in it, you don't come from here do you?" asked peter, I shook my head and sat back down, thinking of home, then I remembered that I'm not that far from home, that I could walk back right now. I stood back up again and straightened out my dress, awarding me with both the boys looking at my legs again, I sighed and said "right well I best be off, see you" then I turned and began to walk away, realizing that I had no idea how to get back, or even if I could get back. "are you lost?" peter asked, I turned back to him and said "nooo, I'm just wondering around hopelessly looking for nothing at all, of course I'm lost" I didnt mean to snap, but that was a stupid question to ask. the brown hair'd boy laughed again while peter just confused. "look seriously, were am I" I asked again, the brown hair'd boy said "we told you, your in Narnia, I'm edmund by the way, he said stepping closer, so I stepped back, causing me to fall over again, both boys rushed over and helped me up "I'm fine, get off" I said, pushing them both away. I looked at them both again and realisation dawned on me, peter and edmund, both characters off the book and film about Narnia. I looked at there clothing and then at there swords. I stared at them both, blinking.

and then I fainted.


	5. Chapter 5 Narnia

_oh god, were am I? and why does my arse hurt?  
_I opened my eyes and was greeted with four pairs looking back at me, I jumped up with a yelp. I was on a sofa, surrounded by people who were all smiling at me. destination creepsville. "finally your awake, you've been out for hours" said peter, who was smiling happily down at me. I looked around, there was peter and Edmund, who wasn't smiling more like he was trying to keep from laughing, and there were two others, they were both girls, although a few years apart in age's, the older one had brownish blond hair and blue eyes, she was beautiful, as was the younger girl, who had similar colour hair but brown eyes, they both leaning down by the sofa looking at me with wonder in there eyes. "could you all stop staring at me please, your freaking me out" I said, sitting up a little straighter, the older girl looked shocked, while the younger one giggled, I smiled at her, only because I couldn't help it, she really was beautiful. "oh I am sorry, were are our manners, I am Susan and this is Lucy, and that's Edmund and peter" they waved except for peter and Edmund, considering we had already been introduced. "um I'm layla_Jane, and I hate to keep asking this question but, were the hell am I?" I was getting really tired of not knowing were I was, or wasn't. "this is cair paravel, our home, what brings you here to Narnia, and dressed like that?"Lucy said, I looked directly at her and I didn't think she was trying to offend me, I think she was just curious "so this is cair paravel, okay so I'm starting to believe the whole Narnia deal now, and I'm dressed like this because were I come from, you can dress what ever way you like" Susan looked in shock as she replied "what Narnia deal? and what time do you come from, that lets lady's dress like that?" I glared at her not liking the way she was talking to me "I come from Wales, Neath, which is a small farming place, its 2013 were I am from, and I dress like this because I like to, lots of girls wear much less than this! some girls don't were anything at all, and as I told you brothers, I am not a lady, I am just a girl! " everyone's eye's bugged out and Susan went bright red, I'm guessing no one had ever talked to her that way before, but I didn't care, she was far to nosey. "I'm sorry if I offended you, that wasn't my intention, I was just curious, as we all are, as to why your here. and if you dont mind me asking again, what Narnia deal are you speaking of?" she smiled at me, trying to be kind, so I sighed and said "were I come from, Narnia is just books and films, no one believes its a real place, or that you lot are real" I said, they all looked so confused I went on I was done, they all looked even more shocked. I guess hearing everyone in the entire world knows all about you is a shocking thing to hear. "wow, isn't it remarkable how a whole other world knows are story" said Lucy, looking at me in awe. "yes, but strange" said Susan, who looked at me like I was mad or something. "so why are you here then?" asked peter, I looked at him and rolled my eyes "if I knew that, don't you think I would have told you" I was being very rude to these people, but I hate being asked dumb questions. "so you have no idea why your here, or how to get back to your family?" asked Lucy, I frowned then looked away from them, "I dont have a family, my mum died in a tragic accident and the only person I had left left me" I didn't want to look at them, knowing that if I did, I would see pity in there eyes. "you have no family, how horrible, no one to love you. maybe that's why you were brought here, to find family or something" replied Lucy, she held on to my hand and smiled at me, I smiled back, its impossible not to. "so you have nowhere to stay whilst you here?" asked peter and I shook my head, of course I didn't, I'v only just got here. "you can stay here with us! oh please Susan, say she can stay, she'll have no where to go, please!" Lucy begged letting go of my hand and gripping on to Susan's, who looked at me and then her brothers, who both nodded and shrugged. "YES!" Lucy shouted, "you can stay here" she beamed at me and Susan laughed at her, "but were is she going to sleep?" asked Edmund, looking at me, "she can sleep in my chambers with me, I don't mind" said peter, smiling strangely at me, seems I have a fan already. "sleeping arrangement are not a problem, so there will be no need for her to share your chambers, she will sleep in one of the guest rooms." peter looked sad about this, for a moment, then the smile returned to his lips when he saw Susan looking at him. "Yes that makes more sense" he said, trying not to look fazed. "come on, I will show you to your room" said Lucy, practically dragging me off the sofa, and then I remembered, "hey, by the way, why is my arse hurting?" Susan looked like I had just sprouted a new head, while Edmund couldn't stop laughing, "when you fainted, we had to ride you back on the horses, she obviously you would be a little sore" peter answered, smiling again, "oh okay" I managed to say before Lucy dragged me out, and led me to my chambers.


	6. Chapter 6 my first day

My chambers were huge, like, beyond huge, I had a four poster bed, which I fell asleep in the minute my head it the pillow, it's amazing, It even had a bathroom, how cool is that. I woke up to the sun shining through the windows, which was nice, until I realised that there was someone else in the room with me. I jumped and twisted myself around, trying to see who it was. "oh sorry to wake you, just came to tell you that breakfast will be ready in 15 minutes" it was Lucy, all dressed in a beautiful red dress with burgundy lining. "um thanks" I stood up and Lucy stared at me, "Oh sorry, should have warned you that I like to sleep in my underwear" she looked at my face and said "we don't have underwear like that here, why is there so little of it?" I looked down, I was wearing my light blue knickers and matching bra that I bought it primark for 4 pound, "oh every girl wears this kind of underwear were I come from" she still looked shocked, but decided to drop the subject, "well here is your dress, there are more in your closet, if this one isn't to your liking, its green like your eyes and it has gold lining" green and gold were my Favorited colours so I looked at the dress in awe, it was beautiful. I put it on over my underwear, even though Lucy insisted I try the undergarments she brought for me, but I told her I wouldn't wear those, even if she killed me. I looked at the dress in the mirror, it was amazing, although, the slightest bit tight, so my breasts looked very fruitful in it, which I didn't mind one bit. "it looks fantastic, just as I suspected it would, I will come back in 10 minutes to show you the way to the dining hall, I nodded, not taking my eyes of my reflection, and she was gone.  
I looked down in the small table in front of the mirror and noticed a few creams and powders, I sat on the small chair (which it good considering I am only small myself, barely reaching 5.4 ft) and began to put a small pinky colour'd power on my cheeks, I then went and added some old timely mascara, although, they didn't have any eye liner, which was a shame, but then I remembered, I had put my eye liner in the pocket of my jacked just in case I needed to re-apply, so I went and took it from my jacket, which was folded neatly on the foot of my bed, and applied that as well and some light red lipstick and I took another look in the mirror, and even if I do say so myself, I looked hot!.

Lucy returned and commented on my make-up, saying it looked very nice, to which I said thanks. we then walked down the corridor and down two flights of stairs, until we reached what I guessed to be the dinning area, everyone was already seated and Lucy ran to take her seat next to Susan, while I walked slowly over to the only remaining seat which was by Edmund and directly across from peter, who stared at my chest the second I sat down. "that is a lovely dress Layla_Jane, really brings out your ah eyes" said peter smiling at me, I smiled back and said "thanks peter, for noticing my..eyes" he laughed and went back to eating his buttered toast. we all began to eat when I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my arse was still hurting. "so Layla_Jane, how your arse feeling this morning?" Edmund asked , completely shocking me, and Susan, were as peter and Lucy started laughing uncontrollably, "Its quite fine thank you Edmund, nice of you to take such notice of how arse" Edmund blushed, not expecting a rational response, which made peter laugh even harder. "Edmund, peter, Lucy please, don't be so rude in front of out guest" Susan responded, although she was looking as though she would ring my neck if I said anything like that again, which was so unfair, considering I didn't start it.

when breakfast was over, me and Lucy took a walk in the garden, where she went on to tell me about every flower we passed, which was getting quite dull. that's when we came across Edmund and Peter fighting with there swords, which Lucy assured me was just practice for both boys. they were both laughing and egging each other on, and I have to admit they both looked quite good. they were both sweating, as it was a hot day, but neither of them seemed to care, they were both wrapped up in there own violent world, one that I would love to join into. peter lunged at Edmund, which caused him to lose his balance, to which Edmund took the advantage and disarmed peter, who was laying face down on the floor. "I win, again" said Edmund with a smug look on his face. Lucy clapped and cheered to Edmund, causing both boys to look over at us, "hello girls" called peter, whilst getting of the ground and trying to get some of the mud of his clothing, Edmund just smiled slightly and walked over to us, a few steps behind peter again. "so peter, I see Edmund beat you, again" Lucy said, looking proudly at her brother, who smiled back "I'll beat him someday, so Layla_Jane, what did you think of our fighting skills, pretty good huh" asked peter, who was once again staring at me, "oh yeah, real cool, all that bashing of swords and stuff" I smiled sarcastic at him, he seemed to go red little, "so you don't think sword fighting is real fighting do you?" he asked, I shook my head "no its defiantly fighting" peter looked at me, then asked "do you know how to fight?" I smiled smugly and said "not with a sword" peter gave a sly smile and said "fight me then, show me your skills m'lady" "oh but how ever will I be able to fight in such a pretty dress" I asked, giving my best damsel in distress look. he shrugged and said "well, if you are to scared to take me on" oh okay, if that's how yo want to play it "fine" the minute the world left my mouth he was running towards me. when he was just close enough, I moved and stretched my arm out, causing him to run directly into it, he made a pained sound as I used my other hand and elbowed him hard in the lower back, then tripped him to he was on the floor at my feet. Both Lucy and Edmund were laughing, but you could see the shock in the face's as I bent down and said "so peter, what do you think of my fighting skills" to which replied with a short laugh and put his arm up for me to grab. I helped him up of the ground and he looked at me in wonder "were does a lady learn to fight such as that?" I just shrugged my shoulders and said "my dad taught me" and with that I grabbed Lucy arm, she was still laughing, but I manages to drag her along, then I shouted "oh and by the way, I am not a lady!" to which both boys laughed.

dinner time was uneventful, except that I noticed Edmund glance my way a few times, so I took this opportunity to really take him in, he was about 6ft tall, with messy hair and lush brown eyes, he was covered in freckles, which I think add to his cuteness, he has a lean, well worked out body, not incredibly muscle , but strong, I think he is about 17, a year older than me. peter was his exact opposite, he was blond with neatly cut hair and piercing blue eyes, he had pale skin and no freckles to speak of, and he had muscles that you could see clearly. both girls looked very similar, yet completely different at the same time, Lucy was shorter that Susan and had slightly darker hair and brown eyes opposed to Susan's blue eye's, both were thin, but Susan was curvy. And then there's me, I have blond hair and dark green eyes, I have a few freckles and and small nose, but big ears (which I try to hide) I am very short, but curvy and I have quite big breasts, I am pale, very pale, but I like it like that, and I plump red lips, which Edmund had looked at twice already.

I couldn't wait for bed, and the minute my head hit the pillow, again, I was fast asleep.


	7. Chapter 7 feelings

The days went by quickly, it has been a whole week since I stumbled in to Narnia, and I have already became friends with everyone. but the routine is starting to get boring. I wake up to Lucy, who tell's me to get ready for breakfast, then after breakfast we take a walk in the gardens, then dinner, then bed. the only thing I really look forward to doing is sword fighting lessons that peter is giving me, he says I have quite a talent for it, and its so much fun. but today peter has to go deal with 'Narnia business' so I'm having my lesson with Edmund. He's really the only person in the castle I haven't connected with yet. Me and Lucy have been friends basically from the start, and me and Susan bonded over a mutual love of books and history, and me and peter bonded over fighting. But me and Edmund haven't ever really spoken, he seems to avoid me and I'm not completely sure why.

The morning of the day peter went on 'business', I had a different wake up call than I was used to. someone had came into the room, opened the curtains wide and said "good morning" I sat up In bed and stretched, then proceeded to walk into the bathroom, for my usual morning bathroom routine, then when I came out I saw, not Lucy, but Edmund standing at my wardrobe, looking through it. "Um, what are you doing" I asked, causing Edmund to jump and look over in my direction. his eyes bugged out and his mouth went slack, he looked me up and down and swallowed hard, "what? what are you looking at?" I asked, then remembered, I was wearing nothing but my Underwear, I had asked the dryad's to make me underwear that looked like the once I came in, the set I was wearing now were dark red floral print, and very flashy. I ran and hid behind the wardrobe door. "I am so sorry, I didn't realise you be wearing such ah um little clothing" Edmund was shaking his head, trying to get the image of me in my underwear out of his head. "oh no big deal, Lucy should have warned you I wear different undergarment to other people here, and that I like to sleep with them on, and nothing else, oh and speaking of Lucy, were is she?" I said in a rush, trying to get over the initial embarrassment "um er she's not feeling well, so she's staying in bed, she asked me to wake you and help you pick out a dress, and um, that it" he was bright red, and couldn't make eye contact with me, it was quite cute how nervous he was. "oh right, well have you found a dress that will look nice?" you asked, he turned his eyes back from looking at what little leg he could see and said "what? oh right, erm this one, the colours nice, I guess" he held up a deep red dress, sort of matching the colour of her underwear, which has black lining and is quite low cut. I gave a small smile and said "perfect" and grabbed hold of the dress and pulled it over my body, it had to be tied on the back, "hey Edmund, do you mind helping me do the back up?" he shook his head and said "I should really be going, should I get a dryad to come help you?" he asked, still looking uncomfortable. I rolled my eye's "Edmund, just help me do the bloody dress up, its not as though I'm asking you to take it off me" when I said this he blushed redder, if that was even possible, and stepped forward. I turned around and moved my hair out of the way and he tied the back of my dress slowly, possibly because his hands were shaking so much. When he was done he let out a deep breath and stepped back "thank you very much good sir" I joked, I walked over to the mirror to see how I looked. The dress was very flattering, hugging my curves in all the right place's, and my breasts looked amazing! I started to put black powder above my eyes and then my usual make up, when I noticed that Edmund was still standing there, looking around nervously. I stood up and asked him "why are you standing there like a chicken that's lost his head?" he looked confused, then ran his had through his hair, making it stick up quite attractively, and cleared his throat, "I was going to ask if you wanted me to escort you to the dining hall?" he wouldn't look at me properly, only glancing at me now and then. I shook my head at his awkwardness, I was the one who was just standing there almost naked, why should he be so embarrassed? "yeah, aright, come one then" I started walking towards the door, which he held open for me, which I thanked him for.

we walked to the dining hall in silence, and when we got there we went straight to our seats, not saying a word. peters eyes practically fell out if there sockets at the sight of my dress (or should I say breasts) "is that dress new Layla-Jane? its absolutely stunning" I smiled at him and said "thank you peter, it is very nice isn't it, Edmund picked it out for me" I smiled brightly at Edmund, who blushed and stared down at his plate, remembering me prancing about half nude I guess. "did he now" peter looked at Edmund, gave him a sour look then went back to eating. "it is very beautiful Layla-Jane" commented Susan, who smiled at me. I smiled back then began eating. I asked how Lucy was, and Susan told me she just had a slight cold. that was the only conversation we had the rest of the meal.

After breakfast, I went down to the garden with Edmund, who appeared to have got over the shock of seeing me in my underwear and was asking me what I had learned about sword fighting from peter. I told him everything I new, he seemed pleased that I new so much after only a short time. he handed me my sword, which wasn't all that, but I still loved it and asked me if I wanted to change out of my dress before we practice. i told him no, I liked to challenge of sword fighting in a dress. he just shrugged and took stance and the fighting began.  
I really loved sword fighting, when adrenaline builds, the sound of mettle bashing against mettle, and how violent, yet fun it was. we were both getting really into it, and I could see how shocked Edmund was by how good I was, but I wasn't as good as him. he knocked the sword out of my hands and tripped me, holding the sword to my chest, "your good, considering its peter who has been training you" I raised my eyebrows at him "just good?" to that he shrugged and moved his sword, "well your not as good at me" he gave me a smug grin. while he looked up at the sky, I decided I should get pay back, so I tripped him. But it didn't go to plan, because instead of him falling backwards like I intended him to, he fell forward, directly on top of me, but it was still funny though, so I laughed. He laughed as well, and to stop himself flattening me, he put both hands and ever side of me. he stopped laughing and just looked at me, and I looked at him. His eyes really are nice, better than nice, they were stunning! there dark brown pools of warmth. he started going red and looked down at my chest then back up at my face. his hand moved slightly to move a strand of hair from my face. I froze up, and started to feel warm all over. _I had to move, he has to stop looking at me, I don't like feeling like this_. I turned my head away and tried to move, so he got up and held a hand out for me to take, but I refused and stood up myself. "thanks for the lesson" I said, not looking at him, if I did, I would feel warm again, and that was not aloud to happen! "no problem, any time" I nodded then started to walk backwards a bit "um Layla-Jane?" "what!" I replied, I didn't mean for it to come out so harsh, but I really wanted to leave "nothing" he said, so I walked away, just turned around and walked away.

I didn't feel like eating at dinner, so I excused myself and went back to my room. I couldn't get Edmund out of my head. he looked at me a few times and dinner, but I didn't dare look at him. I am not allowing myself to start feeling warm and fuzzy about Edmund, I don't want to. But he is really cute. No! no feelings at all, I will not put myself in a situation were I could get hurt again!

I thought about home that night, about my mother and tom, and how much I missed both of them. I cried, wishing my mother was here.


	8. Chapter 8 warm day

I have officially been here for two weeks, and today is the hottest bloody day ever. Susan has caught what ever it is Lucy has, so there both bedridden, and peter has gone away, trying to confirm dates to some ball that's being held here next week, in honour of Edmund s 18th birthday. Speaking of Edmund, I'v been avoiding him like the plague. I know its mean, and that I'm just being silly, but its more out of the embarrassment of how I ran away from him, when al he was trying to do was be nice. maybe I should make it up to him, apologise for being to rotten and ignoring him.

I looked all over for Edmund, but couldn't find him, so I decided to give up and go get a book to read in the garden. when I returned to the garden, book in hand, I looked for a bench to sit on and read. being able to fine one (possibly because it was to hot to actually look) I settled down under a tree, the leaves shaded me and there was a cool breeze, I sighed in relief of finally being cool, and began my book.  
about two chapter into the book, I heard someone walking towards me, I looked up and saw Edmund looking awkwardly at me. "hi" I said, attempting a small smile. he just gave me and odd look and said "oh so you are talking to me then?" my smile dropped and I stood up, "look I'm really sorry about ignoring you, I don't know why I did it, forgive me?" he looked at me as though he were sizing me up, then said "why did you run off after practice?" that was the question I really didn't want to answer, so I said, "I'm not sure, when I get uncomfortable sometimes I run off" I crossed my arms and looked at him, beggin with my eyes that he drop the subject, but I'm not that lucky, "why were you uncomfortable? what did I do?" I just shrugged and looked away. he let out a sight and sat down on the floor next to were I was standing, so I sat down as well, "what are you reading?" I smiled , happy he decided to let it go, "I'm not sure to be honest" he laughed and picked up the book and began reading it.  
I was so happy that me and Edmund were aright that I smiled, let out a long, happy sigh and lay down on the grass, my knees were bent so my legs were on show but I didn't care, they were way to warm under this dress. It was quiet for a while, then Edmund put the book down and lay down next to me. I noticed that he smelled like earth and something spicy, like nutmeg. I took in a deep breath, taking in his smell. I turned slightly and looked at him, his eyes were closed. I could feel him next to me, I could feel the heat radiating from his body, and even though it was a boiling hot day, I found myself wanting to curl up in his heat. he opened is eyes and caught me looking, so he move forward a little, to avoid eye contact with him I just cuddled up into him, and he put him arm around my shoulder and pressed me tighter into him. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, I could feel his pulse, his heart was beating fast. he rested his head on my head, and let out a sigh. the last thing I remember was feeling him playing with my hair softly,before I fell asleep in his arms.


	9. Chapter 9 wake up call

_hmm__ why am I so warm. _I tried to sit up but I couldn't, I opened my eyes and saw that I was cuddling up to Edmund on the ground, _how did that happen? _I tried to move, but when I did his arm tightened around me. I decided to give up and just lay there and look at him. he looked so cute in his sleep. He opened his eyes slowly, so I shut mine, I didn't want him to think I was staring at him. I breathed very slowly, hoping that he would think I was still asleep. I felt his hand move hair that had had fallen into my face and run his hand along my cheek. His hand travelled over a bit and traced my lips with his fingers. My breathing picked up slightly and I was praying to whatever god was up there that he didn't notice. He stopped and moved his hand away. I shook a little, causing Edmund to pull his hand away from me quickly. I made a sound like I was just waking up and stretched a little (just to complete the act) and opened my eyes, which were instantly met with his guilty looking one's. he was blushing again. "hey, what's up" I asked, pretending to not know what was going on. "um nothings up" he replied looking away. "why are we on the floor?" I asked. he sat up and shrugged. I sat up as well and looked at him, he blushed deeper and said "well, I should be going, inside, bye" and he got up and left. I layed back down with a smile on my face, happy I wasn't the only one who felt a little something.

dinner was awkward, it was just me and Edmund at the table, considering everyone else was ever sick or working. Edmund hadn't looked my way since I sat down, still embarrassed about 'almost being caught' earlier, which, to be honest made me laugh. I liked that he felt a little something, even if it was just the wanting to touch me. I know I shouldn't. but I want him to touch me again. which is strange because Iv never wanted someone to touch me before, not even tom. there most we ever did was kiss. but know I find my self imagining Edmund running his hands down my body, imagining him kissing my neck and gripping me hard as he pushes me up against a wall and. _STOP! stop that thought right there missy, there will be no fantasies like that going on inside your head, okay_. but I couldn't stop. I looked at him and caught him looking at me. I smiled, because I didn't know what else to do. and he smiled back. We kept looking at each other and I guessed that the same thoughts that were running through my mind were running through his. he leaned a little closer, so I leaned a little closer. the the door swung open and a fawn barged in, looking for peter. Edmund explained that peter was a way, but there fawn continued to rant on about some shit so Edmund excused himself and left with the fawn to talk it out. I ate the rest of my food, then went for a walk.

I went to the library and sat on one of the sofas there, I didn't have a book, but I liked to just sit and think here, because its quiet. but there problem with thinking on your own is that sad thoughts pop into your head, like your dead mum, or your dick head ex, or your father that left you. all these thought piled on at once and I felt like crying. thats when Edmund walked in. he saw the look on my face and walked over to me. "are you okay?" he asked, his face showing that he was worried. I shook my head and took in a deep breath, willing myself not to cry. he sat down next to me and put his arms around me. "do you want to talk about it". he was being so kind that I just let it out, I cried and told him about how I missed my mother and about how my dad left me, and how my ex had broken my trust and how I didn't believe love existed, or that it just didn't exist for me. he listen and held me close. I wrapped my arms around him and stopped crying. letting out all these feeling was a real relief. "so you don't want to fine love?" he asked and I leaned back and shook my head "no, I want love" I said, he looked a little uncomfortable, so he looked away from me and said "do you love anyone now?" to which I replied "no, I don't love anyone, I thought I still loved tom, but I guess I just missed his company" his face fell a little and he looked at me "what if someone loved you, like a friend or something" he asked, I looked into his eyes and said "I don't know" we kept looking at eachother, and then I did something without even knowing I was going to do it, I leaned forward and hugged him, I buried my head in the crook of his neck as his arms wrapped around me. I could feel him put his face by my hair, and he inhaled deeply, and I wondered if my hair smelt nice to him. he moved my hair away from my neck and I could feel his lips slowly brush my sensitive skin. I breathed in a shaky breath and held him a little tighter. he responded to this my leaving little kisses leading down to my shoulder and back up again. he moved me back a little and kissed my cheek, and just as he was about to reach my mouth, I heard the door open, so I jumped up. Edmund looked at me, his hair was messy and his dark eyes were darker and looked strangely at me. "I have to go" I said and practically ran out of the library, leaving Edmund on his own.

_what in gods name were you thinking, you stupid idiot, why did you leave him there all alone! __why did you kiss him, you know that you cant let yourself feel for him! why did you stop him, you know you like being with him! _I was at war with myself, I dont know how to feel about it. I did enjoy what happened, and the though of his lips pressed to my neck sent shivers through me, but I cant do that. what I he thought I liked him. do I like him? I enjoy being around him and hes so sweet and cute and he even sat there and let me cry out all the pain in my life and he still stayed and comforted me. do I like him?

holy shit I like him, I want him with me, I want to kiss him, but what if he hurts me? what will I do then. I doubt theres any other world I can fall into to escape him if he does hurt me. But I still cant stop thinking about him.


	10. Chapter 10 the ball

I'm avoiding him again, or at least I was, until I was reminded by Susan about the ball. Edmunds birthday ball. which means I will have to see him there. peters been giving me dancing lessons, but I'm still no good at it. Susan has picked out my dress, but she wont show it to me until the day of the ball. she wants it to be a surprise.

oh god the day is here, I'm nervous. I haven't seen him since that day. the only good thing about this is that my dress is amazing! Its emerald green with darker green lining, low cut and tight enough to make me look sexy, but not slutty. we were in Susan's room, putting finishing touches on our make up and clothing, when Lucy asked the question I have been dreading to hear. "so are you going to dance with Edmund? I know you to are not exactly close, but it being his birthday and all" I wanted to say no I didn't want to dance with him. but that would look suspicious. "if he asked me to dance with him, I will dance with him." I said. she smiled and continued to do her make up. "well I'm hoping prince michael will ask me to dance" said Susan. me and Lucy exchanged glances and smiled. prince michael is all Susan had talked about. I'm pretty sure this ball is more for him than it is for Edmund.

the music was playing and people were dancing and wishing Edmund a happy birthday. I tried to not notice that many eligible women were asking him for dances, it made my chest hurt to see them. I was sitting down my table with peter, drinking wine straight from the bottle, it tasted delicious, like orange and spice. I'd never tasted anything like it. "are you okay? you seem upset" I looked up and saw peter looking at me. "yes I'm fine, why you ask" I said, drinking more wine, they really didn't put enough in one bottle. "oh no reason, you just seem to be acting strange" I glared at him. "well, I'm fine, okay" I said turning back to the dance floor were Edmund was just dancing with some redhead.

everyone rejoined there tables, and I noticed Edmund had started to get quite drunk on the wine. seems he likes it to. I had started to get in the dancing mood, the wine was getting to my head a bit. so I asked peter to dance when the music started back up. he accepted quite eagerly and we headed to the dance floor. the dancing was actually fun, even though I couldn't really keep up. we were half way through are second dance, and the alcohol had hit me so when Edmund came over, looking quite sloshed as well, and asked me to dance, I accepted. peter bowed which I found funny. Edmund put his hand on my waist and I put my hands on his shoulder and we began to sway to the music, both to drunk to care about dancing properly.

the songs got slower and more intimate, so Edmund pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt a little uncomfortable, like there was a reason that I shouldn't be dancing with him. His arms went low on my back, just above my arse. then I remembered. I pushed away from him quickly and walked off the dance floor._ I have to get out of here._ I walked out of the doors and looked for somewhere to hide. I could here footsteps behind me. I thought I opened the door to a room, but in my drunk mind I opened the door to a large closet instead. I went to shut the door behind me but someone forced it open. that someone was Edmund. "go away please" I said, slurring a little" he shut the door so the only light was from the window. "what is your problem. one minute your hugging me and being all nice and then your running off telling me to leave you alone!" I just looked at him and shrugged. I couldn't really muter up the strength to shake my head. the room spun without me moving. "well you know what I think. I think your just a tease" I turned back to him, and glared. "what did you say" I said, you are a tease" I stepped forward and wobbled a bit "how fucking dare you, you don't know anything" well what's really wrong then" I looked at him "the problem is that you are a dick head who wont leave me alone!" he stepped closer "well at least I'm not a slut who lead people on!" I slapped him then, harder than I though I could, and he grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall, hard. "just leave me alone!" he pinned my hands above my head, and did something I really wasn't prepared for. he kissed me.


	11. Chapter 11 he didn't mean it

_oh my giddy aunt, he's kissing me! _he moved his hands from my arms and to my face, and continued kissing me. I just stood there, frozen to the spot. _what the hell do I do? _I shook my head, causing Edmund to dislodge his lips from mine. he backed off and ran both his hand through his hair, keeping there, resting on the top of his head. my hand went up to my lips and my eyes widened in surprise. "what..why did you..did that just happen" I said, shaking my head, my drunkenness seminally forgotten. "it happened and I'm sorry" he replied putting his hands over his over his eyes "it was the drink, I swear. I wouldn't have kissed you other wise" my heart sank. he wouldn't kiss me unless he was drunk. well that was nice to know!. he could see the hurt on my face and tried to reword what he had said. but I pushed passed him and ran. not knowing were to but I ran none the less.

I ran and found a spare room, and hid myself in there. and I let myself cry. again. all I'v seem to do since I came here is cry. I really thought that maybe Edmund might have felt something for me. then he went and said all those horrible things, then kissed me, and then told me none of that would of happened. that it only happened because he was drunk. I felt my chest tighten. I had let myself feel something. and once again. I got hurt.

I slept in that room. and the next morning everyone was frantic looking for me. I didn't go to breakfast because I didn't want to see Edmund. I couldn't bare looking at him. knowing that he feels nothing.

the sudden light shocked me. _had I been sitting in the dark? _"Layla-Jane, is that you?" it was peter. I just nodded and he came into the room and grabbed me up in a big bear hug. "thank goodness you are okay. we've been looking everywhere for you. why are you sitting in here on your own? why are you in here at all?" he asked. "I um, I got drunk and couldn't find my room. so I came in here. I fell asleep and lost track of the day. I'm sorry for worrying everyone" I lied. he looked at me, looking for signs of me lying. he seemed satisfied with my answer and took me out of the room and left me in the hands on a dryad. "make sure she has rest and and bath, and food. we don't want her getting ill. I'll inform the others that she is safe" as he walked away. I stood there looking after him, shocked and happy at his kindness, and the fact that he didn't look at my chest.

after a long bath and a good few hour sleep, I thought that it would be a good idea to go down to the hall and have dinner. I had to explain to everyone what at happened (in other word, try and remember the lie I told peter earlier) and I had to see Edmund again at some point. better sooner that later, right?

everyone hugged me and asked if I were okay, minus Edmund. I nodded and said I was fine and re-told the lie I told earlier. Edmund looked at me with knowing eyes and my heart sunk again, but I smiled at sat down for my dinner. except this time I sat bye peter. Susan looked at the seating arrangement oddly for a moment, then went back to eating. the only talk at dinner was talk of the ball, and how Susan got asked to dance the Prince. Mike (as she was now calling him) twice. me and Lucy both congratulated her on this, and she gave us a pleased smile back. at least someone was happy.

after dinner peter asked me if I would like to practice today. but I told him no, that I was not really in the mood for fighting today. so he suggested we go to the gardens and talk for a bit. I nodded and he linked arms with me, leading me to a bench and started asking questions about me, my life, my family. I felt awkward telling him about myself. It wasn't like when I poured my heart out to Edmund. but it was nice that he was taking an interest in me and not just my appearance for a change. so I told him a few things, then asked about his life. which he was more than happy to tell me about.  
we talked for hours and I found myself feeling better than I did yesterday. Just because Edmund didn't want me. it didn't mean that there was no point in being happy. I even found myself laughing at one of peter very bad jokes. I got darker and I told peter that I'd best be getting to my room. he nodded and escorted me back the castle. he said goodnight, and I went to bed.


	12. Chapter 12 finding it, and loving it

Me and peter are like bestfriends now. we talk about everything and he's so sweet. he doesn't perv on me anymore, and i've even found myself hoping i'd fall for him. but I can't. Edmund is always on my mind, I think I feel more for him than I thought I did.  
I told peter about it (saying that it was a guy back at home that I had and interest in) and he told me that I should tell him, even if the guy doesn't like me back, its better to get it out there in the open. so thats what I'm doing. I'm on my way to Edmunds room now.

I took three deep breaths then knocked his door, "come in". I walked in and shut the door behind me. he turned around from putting a book back on its shelf and saw me. he looked surprised, but happy to see me. I waved awkwardly and smiled at him. he smiled and I walked forward a bit. I went over what I wanted to say in my head and was about to speak when Edmund said "Layla, I'v been wanting to talk to you about what happened in the closet on my birthday, but I thought that you didn't want to see me" "I'v been wanting to talk to you about that to. I know that you didn't mean the hateful things that you said. and I know that you didn't mean to kiss me, that you were just drunk. but.." he shook his head fast and said "no! no thats not what I ment that night when I said I would never ave done that if it wasn't for the drink. I meant that I would never have hurt you, but that doesn't mean that I didn't want to kiss you, because I did" a confused look crossed my face "so you wanted to kiss me? then why didn't you tell me sooner?" he looked embarrassed and said "I thought that you were interested in peter, but on my birthday, when you were dancing with me and smiling, I realized that I had to give it a shot. but then you were being so difficult and distant and I got mad, and said those hurtful things. but I didn't mean any of them! I swear. I really like you layla-jane. and I just wanted you to like me back. but I know you don't, and I cant make you so you.." I shut him up by putting my lips on his, he was so shocked that at first he didn't react, but then he did and it was amazing. I pulled back and said "I'v wanted to kiss you for so long to. but I didn't want to get hurt again. I know that you would never hurt me" I kissed him again and he whispered "I'd never hurt you. I love you" I pulled back, shocked by what he said. he saw the look in my eyes and became worried, "I mean.. I.. erm" I huge smile spread across my lips, _he loves me! he said he loves me! _I jumped on him, which caused him to fall back on to his bed, kissing him hard and said " I love you to!" he smiled into my kisses and flipped me over, deepening the kiss.  
at this moment, I have never been happier. I had finally found someone who I love, and who loves me back just as deeply. I'v found my family here.

we spent the night together. It was the best night of my life. he made me feel lived and beautiful. I never want this to end, this feeling of complete happiness. I never want to stop feeling like this.

_sorry its so short :/ _


	13. Chapter 13 couldn't stay away

Love is real. Its been proven to me in so many ways. the simple act of kindness from my friends, the smile that come to my face and the feeling in my heart when I think of him. Its all so real to me now and I never want to lose this feeling of love. but I have to leave here. I can feel the time is coming for me to go.

I saw him last night. he was in the garden. he scared me at first, because all I saw was a great beast, but then he spoke and I listened to him, he told me my time here had to end, that I'f learned all that I could learn here. I argued with him, saying that I had only just got Edmund, and that these people were my family. but he knew about the promise I made my mum. that I wouldn't leave her again. and I knew that he was right. that I had to leave.

telling everyone was the worst part, everyone cried and told me that I had to stay, Susan said that she had just finished my new dress, and Lucy said that I was her best friend, peter just sat there shaking his head, saying he would miss me. Edmund cried and wouldn't let me go. vowing to spend every single minute with me until I had to leave. I let him. I liked him being with me all the time. it made it seem real.

today is the day. I can feel it in my bones. I need to walk in the garden one more time. I don't have to heart to say goodbye to everyone. so I go alone.

Hes waiting for me, he doesn't look scary this time. he looks sad. I cry harder than I have cried in a long time. wishing that I didn't have to go. I need to tell Edmund I love him. and Lucy that she's beautiful. and peter that he sucks at fighting, and Susan about this book I read. but theres no time. Im going now.

the world shakes and I fall to the ground crying. then I'm in the woods. alone. I climb up the banking and walk, still crying through the woods, across the field and over then fence. I got to the phone and ring that mad old woman with the book, say hello. then I go to bed.

_3 years later_

I'm back from bertha's funeral, it wasn't sad like my mother's. she was peace full when she left and she left me with her book and promised me she'd tell my mother that I'd kept her promise. I have no one here now. no one left who really knows me. but I don't mind because I have my memories and the times that I will never forget in my heart, kept safe.

I'm looking through a few of the things Bertha left me, the books, the small blanked from her childhood and a box that she told me would help me. Inside the box is a letter saying "go for one more walk, one more time, your last time" I read over the letter all day, wondering what it means. _is she telling me to go for a walk in the woods again, after all these years? _I do as i'm told and get dressed in my usual cloths and apply my usual make up. then I go over the fence, across the field and into the woods.

it still brings tears to my eye's thinking off all the things I left behind back in narnia. I keep walking until I reach the spot were I fell all those years ago and look down at the familiar earth. then the wind blows hard and I find my self falling down there again. I bang my head. I'm unconscious.

I open my eyes. I try to lift my head but I cant, I look around. the sky is so blue. not a cloud in the sky. I try to move again, this time succeeding, and take in my surroundings. I see a silhouette of a a boy on a horse coming towards me. he gets off the horse and I stand up. "just couldn't keep away from me could you" I smile and I taste salt. I'm crying and I run to the man. he hugs me, then kisses me. its Edmund. and I'm back. I'm home! and this time. I'm not going to leave. ever, because this is were my love is, this is were I found it. and I'm not losing it again.


End file.
